marriage vs. weddings

I came across this story in Meg's A PRACTICAL WEDDING.
No, I don't know her... FC lang...


This from via the ever-smart Lauren, from the book Altared. Seriously. Read it all:

Weddings are not marriages, and I wish they were. Weddings are to marriage as a single bamboo shoot is to a jungle, as a seashell is to the ocean floor: nice enough, not unrepresentative, and almost totally irrelevant. Marriage is all about the long road, about terror and disappointment, about recovery and contentment, about passions of all kinds. Weddings are about a party– which is why I think marriage should be approached with blinking yellow lights, orange safety cones, and all other signs of great caution, and weddings should be encouraged as things apart. Why should we expect that looking pretty in white (or the flattering color of your choice) and doing a credible fox-trot has anything to do with staying calm in the face of resentful indifference, selective deafness, Oedipal disorders, or horrible stepchildren? It should be enough, it seems to me, to look as good as one can and enjoy the party. Brides who cannot enjoy their own weddings are either possessed of too much knowledge (this marriage is a mistake) or too much something else (like women who scream when the bouquet has one too many sprigs of baby’s breath). I wish that crazy, over-the-top weddings (doves dyed pink, twin elephants, wedding favors from Gucci, and Handel’s “Water Music” played by Yo-Yo Ma) led to marriages that were extravagant celebrations of love, that the excess foretold a lifetime of generosity, sensuality, and matching elephants of kindness and loyalty. I wish that simple little weddings, barefoot in a cranberry bog, with ten friends as witnesses, would lead to a life in which less is really more and stays that way. Marriage requires common sense, self-awareness, compatible senses of humor (Jackie Mason will not be happy with Oscar Wilde, although Bernie Mac might be), compatible sex drives, and enough, but not too much, perseverance. Weddings, on the other hand, offer just a day’s happiness, and require only a willingness to dance– even badly– and embrace the world and big love for a short time.


We have been reminded of this fact by a lot of our friends and family. The wedding is but a day and marriage is a lifetime. Many times indeed a lot of efforts are placed into having the perfect wedding. A bulk of money is spent with others even getting loans for it. If only that much effort have been made in the preparation for the marriage, then a lot of couples my have been saved of some tears and heartaches.
No, I am not speaking out of experience since I am not there yet. I just try to remember what has been said to us.

To add... marriage is more than compatibility. It is more than a contract. It is a covenant where God is our witness.
Our feeling of love, excitement or want for a family of our own nor a child is never enough to keep it together. A foundation on our Lord, Jesus Christ... where both the husband and wife humbly ask for help in moving closer to God and as a result have moved closer still to each other as well.

The perfect one...

No... I am not talking about Dennies. He's not perfect. No one is.

I mean the wedding gown or dress or whatever you want to call it.

As every bride know, a wedding gown is so much more than a fluffy white dress.

Rajo Laurel says, '' One of the first things to consider is appropriateness. Have checklist of things that you want to do for your wedding - like dance the tango or swing - and also think of how the gown will work for the time of the day and the venue. Will it be at the beach or the city? All these things come into play. Second, when choosing a gown, be true to your personality. And third, really be truthful to your body. There's a limit to the things you can do without surgery! Sometimes a bride is all about fantasy, but in the end you have to temper that to reality.''



''Most Filipinas are short, petite, and not well endowed with curves. So, a dress cut on the empire (above the waist) gives the illusion of longer legs especially if it's floor length'', responds Jojie Lloren, Project Runway Philippines, to a wedding magazine interview. '' For a bigger body, i put the embelishments near the top of the dress to draw the attention to the face. Also, consider the time of the day. A heavily beaded bodice is too much for a daytime wedding. Don't go overboard. The bride has to be seen in the dress and not the other way around; so, it's not just the dress alone that matters.''

His top tip : There are a lot of misconceptioms when it comes to choosing a gown for your body type. The rule of thumb is to hide your flaws and flaunt your assets.

Twenty-two, Sassa Jimenez warns brides on a real issue, ''Don't rely too much on the sketch, or get too attached to it. Realize that everything changes once you start to work with the fabric.''



Indeed, a lot of thought comes when choosing a dress on that special day. It would be a blessing indeed to know what you want and how you want it. Or if you don't have that in mind just yet, then start with what you don't want... That would surely ease out your already loaded brochure of choices.

the well spent wedding

1. Rank your priorities. -- this will allow you to identify which part are you going to splurge on and which one to be stingy about.

2. Determine your budget. -- always plan and work around your budget. It is good to be realistic.


3. Recruit friends and relatives. -- yes, everyone with talent and heart is welcome. This would allow you to save. For example, my singers are friends from church. I'd invite my cousin Chevy to play the violin for my march. And a lot more in my list.


4. Be ruthless with the head count. -- Unfortunately, since we are in the Philippines wherein the wedding is not just between the couple but the whole families, this can be tough. This has been my first dilemna since i wanted an intimate wedding of the least guest as possible but my mother's family has a big bunch of invites in mind.

5. Book before the 'ber' months. -- the "ber" months are part of the "peak" season. So, the rates are much higher during this time.

6. Seek free fonts. -- this is regarding the invites and other prints. Other fonts don't come free. So, make sure to ask your caligrapher or stationer if there is any extra charge on the font you picked. Or to save some more, why not make your invites yourself. I would be doing our wedding invites. My bestfriend, Macel, and I spent about a couple of hours with photoshop to get that image of the invitation that i want. Then, after having it checked by his Mom, we'd have it printed.

7. Think monochromatic.


8. Have a weekday wedding. -- Skip the regular Saturday wedding. Most venues are cheaper on the weekday... or at least, you'll have a lower guest count on a weekday ^^< With this in mind, ours is on a Monday!


9. No decor needed. -- If you'd pick a venue that' already charming as it is. For example is that resto with the decor & interior design that you've always liked.

10. Think out-of-the-banquet-hall. -- the sky is always a pretty backdrop!

11. Hire an expert. -- this seems ironic. But wedding planners already have a string of suppliers where they can have a lot of discounts and freebies.


12. Take up hunting. -- there's always a bargain out there waiting to be found.

13. Pick the right kicks. --

14. Say YES to all-inclusive. -- Most inclusives in the package deals are paid for irregardless on whether you'd take it or not. So, why not just take it. Or you may try asking if you canget another service instead if ever.


15. Bridal fair-bound. -- get into a bridal fair to get a buzz at the supplier's price range & not to mention the freebies and discounts.


16. Create your own dot-com. -- there's real money in the internet. Or so they say.

17. Initial it. -- To make it look like it's worth more.
18. Stick them up. -- use stickers instead of paying for a caligrapher.

19. Hold a DIY day. -- Have your friends help you with DIY souvenirs and give-aways.

20. Buy in season. -- Be it flowers or fruits, the ones in season are definitely cheaper!
21. Supersize your flowers. -- big blooms allow ou to use less.

22. Bouton-ette your bridesmaids. -- they cost less than having bouquets made.

23. Easy on the entourage. -- the lesser people on your wedding party, the lesser on the other entourage-related expenses as well.

25. Work your blooms. -- buy flowers and arrange them yourselves!

26. Skip the make-up trials. -- some artist actually charge the make-up trials even when they say that it is free with the package. Find a make-up artist that you are know or particularly like. Don't go for a lot of trials. It will cost more & it will just lead to more confusion on who to choose.

27. The more the merrier.

28. No need for retouch. -- a quick powder and lipgloss is all it takes. Anyone in your party can do that without the extra charge.


29. Borrow something. -- If you can borrow it, then why buy it?

30. Buy your own booze.


31. Give a newbie a break. -- try a good photographer. His prices are cheaper for sure and he has the extra motivation to have a break for o your wedding.


32. Eat family style. -- this will skip the need for any centerpiece.

33. Think like a talent scout. -- be on the look-out for new suppliers and talents.

34. Drink to that. -- the rest of your guests need not be included in your champagne toast.

35. Cut the cake. -- instead of going for the 20 thousand something layered cake, why not layer the special bakeshop cakes? They actually taste a whole lot better!


36. Give something homemade.


37. Pool the presents.


38. Show off -- a little. -- splurge on something that would be worth it.


39. Throw a tea party. -- who says it has to be a dinner?


40. Hook up your iPod. -- good free music!