Saturday, January 29, 2011

cry baby...

No... I'm not talking of the candy.

I just seem to be more of the cry baby this time in my pregnancy. There's no night with watching the TV news, without tears. I really am not this emotional before. Although I empathize with the victims, etc. of crimes and tragedies, they never really get me crying.
These times however, I find myself shedding tears every night unless I'c choose to turn off the TV before anything emotional comes along.
I don't get to crying with the TV soaps though... I still think of them as shallow although entertainment nonetheless.

Yesterday, while chatting with my Mama, I was in tears too. Thinking of how thankful I am that she had brought us to church when we were young. And relieved to hear that my little brother has been doing better although he never got back to the honors list because of his being talkative(or so his teachers say).
We are not surprised about that however.
My mother fondly recalled of how my 1st grading card had the "most talkative" comment.
I told her that I don't remember that although I do recall bragging that I have the MOST TALKATIVE award back in Nursery up until I was six. (You see, kids don't understand sarcasm up until around 8y.o.).

Anyway, again, I am looking forward to February which is but a few days away. Hopefully, there'd be goodbye to morning sickness.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

what i've been up to...

been sleeping up until noon for most of these days... :)
hypersomnia is definitely a whole lot better than insomnia... i do hope that i wouldn't be on that state by the time dennies would be on his night shift like the last time.

i am counting the days for my 1st trimester to end which means goodbye to morning sickness... hopefully.

I am also looking forward to next weekend when dennies & i will be joining a marriage enrichment seminar that's sponsored by my parents and auntie yayang & uncle boyet. Of course, this is both our first time to join in with something like this. I do hope that a lot of my couple friends would come to join to a seminar like this one too!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

about my pregnancy experience

i think i need to make a post... otherwise my blog would again be forgotten by me...

I had my third visit with my OB last Thursday. I heard our baby's heartbeat again. This time through a Doppler.
It just seems clearer to me that i am indeed pregnant at the sound of it since I still don't feel any of our baby's movement for now.

I am keeping a written journal aside from this blog. I had bought it around a month before I actually got pregnant and I had it at a bargain at a book sale store for around 10-15% of the price that a hardbound imported pregnancy journal would cost. The first copy that i saw then had a tattered back cover, and still I was willing to buy it... good thing that there was another copy that it as good as new.
The down side of my finding that book early though was that I kind of got depressed when I got my period that month. It almost felt like I actually lost a baby already.
After that, we surrendered it all to the Lord... Your time is the best time... although we still pleaded daily for a baby.

So, when the time came when my period continued to delay... and when we got a positive pregnancy test, we were ecstatic.
And even a bit in denial since I don't want to raise a high false hope this time.
We got another home test kit the next day. I imagine that Dennies and I were holding our breath as we see the color change in the kit as one line shows and as we continued praying for a second line to appear.
And it did!
That was the best Christmas gift we've had. Thank You, LORD!

One thing we learned is that the joy wells greater when you've been waiting for God's answer in your prayers and you finally got it.
It's a proof that He answers prayers.

On a serious note, I did remember those friends that I know who have been praying for a baby as well and still have negative results. As much as I hope that we could have that same experience... God has His reasons.

Thursday, January 20, 2011


i had planned to post baby names and their meanings right here in this blog... when i finally dropped it since there are a whole lot of names out there and that it would take a lot of my time even in compiling them.

there are also a lot of websites giving them already.

as much as it is tempting to just copy and paste it to my blog... but i don't want to be guilty of plagiarism.
and editing or sorting them out would take a lot of time indeed.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

on baby names now that I am Mrs. Espina

If we were to have a baby girl…

Again, Denise is a given name.

And for the other name… Lea (meaning = bringer of good news) the wife of Jacob, Lydia of the new testament.
But Dennies' opposed of Lydia since it reminded him of Aling Lydia who was their neighbor. It does sound so off when it would be pronounced as Li-Ja instead of Lid-Ya. But most people would probably say it as the first... so, Lydia is dropped.

And then, there's Lia which is a variant of Lea and actually of Hebrew origin itself which means 'I am the Lord's'
... and Lia is the winner.

So, If we were to have a baby girl, she'll be Lia Denise.

If we were to have a baby boy...

I asked Dennies if he would want Dennis or Anthony... he went for the latter. Since Mommy's maiden name is Antonio. So, his second name would be Anthony as well.

And now.. for the J from the Bible.

...choices... James? John? Joshua? Jacob? Jonathan? Jethro? Jotham? Josiah? Joseph? Jeremiah? Job? Jude?

or maybe Jose Antonio?

Then I found Joram. His story in the Bible is not really that of victory and he is definitely not one of the popular ones. But I do love the meaning of this name... 'God is exalted.'
Indeed, after the days, weeks and months that we've prayed for this baby, God alone deserves the praise!

So, Joram Anthony... if our baby were a boy.

on baby names before I were Mrs. Espina

I’ve been so excited about motherhood that I’ve thought of what to name my baby even before I met a suitable husband.
And yes, my mind has changed more than a thousand times.
There are things that remain though consistent ever since:
1.   1.    I want to have two names for my baby.
I’ve always hoped and maybe even envied (although not that kind of serious envy) my classmates back in school with two names.
That way they their paper looks better formatted (or so I thought)… the down side, they take longer time to write down their names. And the better side, they get to practice their handwriting and scripts! J

2.    2.   I don’t want any of those combination names of parents into 1 name.
No offense meant. Although,

3.    3.   I’ve always wanted one with a good meaning and that with a story to tell plus a touch of history and family in it.
Since my baby is bound to write one formal theme in grade school about his/her name… I want it to be a lot easier for him/her. *winx*

And things that have remained consistent since around 2000:
4.      4.  I want a Bible name as much as possible.

5.      5.  I want one of the name from my husband’s name… a derivative if our baby were a girl.
(e.g. Joelle, Josie, Denise, Ianne, Ivanne)

 6. I want a J as a start in one of the names especially if our baby were a boy.
Since practically every one of my immediate MALE loves are J.
(Lolo Jose, Papa Joel and my brothers,  Jon and Jobbie) 
Not to mention the big J in our lives who is our Lord Jesus Christ!
Plus my nickname starts with a J too.

7.     7.  It may start with an L if our baby were a girl.  
… from Ligaya and my Mama’s Luzviminda.

Around 2006, I guess, I fell in love with the name Abigail since she was the only one in the Bible described as a beauty and brain… and her story is not that familiar. I never even thought that she was a Bible name.

And well, here comes Dennies! (His Dennis was misspelled in his birth certificate… you all know the hassle that comes with that so they stuck with it)

I actually thought of Denise Abigail as a name if we were to have a baby girl. Well, that was before I learnt about his sister’s first and only name. (No offense meant) I love my sister-in-law, Abbi. It’s just that I don’t want both of our baby’s name to mimic anyone from the immediate family.

So, If I were to marry Dennies… and if we were to have a baby girl, one of the names would definitely be Denise… and if we were to have a baby boy, one of the names would either be Dennis or Anthony (Dennies’ second name).

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

revising our budget

As we had made our budget to include our Christmas expenses months before the holidays… we are now doing it for the baby as well.

The little that we've saved from what was left of last year… and with the list of the things to get for our baby (needs and not wants) and the expected medical expenses, we surely need to revise our budget.

With no added income for the moment, we surely have a lot in our hands. So, now, it's on how we could squeeze our budget.
It's not that we're really broke. But as much as possible, we wouldn't want this pregnancy to cause us to spend more than what we're earning in a month. That means, that I wouldn't  want us to tap into our other savings for it. (Although I think it would really come to that if…)

We've included the monthly check-up, expected laboratory expenses, and prenatal vitamins in the budget. This is apart from the amount that we're setting aside to pay for the medical expenses that the birthing would incur which is still not enough from the way that hospitals are charging these days.

We still need to squeeze in the things that we need to get for the baby. And I think the secret to this is the emphasis on the NEED and not the wants.

I'm praying right now for an additional income. I'd like to work right here in the comfort of home.

We're praying for lesser expenses on the hospitalization later… that the doctors wouldn't charge us with a lot.
Anyway, a tip from a previous hospital insider (I mean me though and other friends who've proven this to work) if you're coming in for admission, get the minimum tolerable accommodation (e.g. the ward instead of the private room) if you're expecting a delivery or an operation. That way your DR and OR fees and the physicians', surgeon's and the anesthesiologist's fees wouldn't balloon that much. They'd be charging the minimum on the ward accommodation while there's about 15-30% difference on the medical and miscellaneous services and fees with both accommodations (I mean, ward vs. private room).
And if you would want better sleeping quarters after the delivery or operation, then opt a room transfer. By the way, if you are expecting, you'd probably spend more time on the delivery room than on your room before your delivery, so you really couldn't feel that much difference with the ward accommodation upon admission.

Back to the main agenda, we're trusting that God will provide for everything. We may have plans on how and we may devise plans to cut on our expenses, but without God's help, a lot of unexpected losses would come along the way.

my dearest husband

About a year ago, my FAQ is "Are you sure about him?" And my reply would be, "Yes… because I prayed for him."

I'm thanking God for the testimony that I could share to young girls... or shall I say ladies. It's not that I prayed the perfect prayer or that I have the perfect man right now because we all know that nothing and no one is perfect except God.
It's just that when we pray, God listens… and yes, He answers.

Anyway… since this is with regards to my pregnancy as well… I just want to remind myself years from now of these times… written by me (so, I would likely believe it more than if he'd say it.)… so, I have an archive of the lovable things about him when he nothing he does is cute anymore.

I am having all those hormones that is expected through pregnancy. I don't go vomiting like others do, but morning sickness is certainly not just in the morning. And there are those times when all you want to do is sleep or do nothing (that is actually progesterone at work). Plus, there are those apparently normal odors that sets you off.
I know that this is intellectualization at work (my favorite coping mechanism).

Back to my husband, he comes home from 12 hours of work… and less than one minute for him to realize that he has to open the door himself since his housewife is down in bed, there's no food at the table, the floor hasn't been swept and there's laundry left to do.
We all know what he did next since I still call him "dearest".

We pray that everything will be better on my second trimester. I am already better this month since I manage to cook for him this time. But I have a case of alternating hypersomnia and insomnia in days that leave me doing nothing.
We pray that he'd be given more patience to deal with me. (He actually has notes to himself now… especially on schedules since they were bound to change with a simple scent of garlic cooking or the like)

We pray that I could cope better soon and stop using the hormones as excuses to do nothing.

By the way, he proved last night that even placebo efforts work.
The story… I was feeling nauseous last night at his scent and I did have vomitus in my pharynx already. I asked him to wash up. He dutifully stood up. I heard the bathroom faucet running. Minutes later, he came back with a shirt on and a new pair of shorts since I asked him to change too.
And I had no problem anymore.
He told me minutes later… when he was sure that I wasn't nauseous anymore that he didn't wash up. He merely changed his clothes. J
Oh well… I really don't mind. We're happy that the placebo worked… too much of this KSP hormones.

Since I don't know how to end this anymore… I just want to end with something that is so understated and so yesterday.
I love him! & I thank God each day that we've met.
… so yesterday but a lot truer today.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

tokens, invitation, bouquet, baskets

these little things provided such color to that day...

and who would ever call it a fiesta without the colorful banderitas?

Friday, January 14, 2011

the bouquet toss

Rory finally getting the bouquet after wrestling with Jobbie.

Jobbie, my competitive little brother, rushed in to catch the bouquet too. He didn't budge against Rory, our cousin, until I told him that it's a game for girls only.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

at the reception

entry at the Session Hall...

This is without RSVP since it is unheard of in the barrio.

Sad to say, the reserved tables don't even work. So, some of my friends from the city who have in fact RSVP'd and stayed longer at the Church for the pictorial ended up without a table inside the Session Hall.
Good thing they were cool about sitting outside though... food on the other hand was not a problem.

the wedding ceremony venue

our wedding ride

as per the poll!

presenting uncle arthur's white cow... (we couldn't find an albino carabao)

wrapping up 2010


-- New Year & my Mama's Birthday

someday in between -- I announced to my family that Dennies would be coming over to Davao to visit

13 -- My Papa's birthday

15-17 -- Dennies' visit in Davao.. his first ever to set foot in Mindanao


20-24 -- My visit to meet his parents & relatives


3 -- Kristine Joy (my H.S. barkada)'s birthday & wedding

21 -- Dennies' heart to heart talk with my Papa & my Papa's backstabbing me with my TOP 3 UNLOVABLE TRAITS

29 -- Jobbie's birthday


pre-marriage counselling by Uncle Boyet & Auntie Yayang

visit at Divisoria for fabric finds...


1 -- my parent's 28th wedding anniversary

15 -- my 27th birthday

20something -- Dennies and his family came to Davao to meet my family

pre-nuptial photos were taken by our friend Dot Tiu.


1-5 -- vacation at cebu and bohol with Lola, Mama and Jobbie. Jon, his gf & Ate Tata & Ate Lilil are residing in Cebu.

someday just about 1st semester is to start -- i got news that i won't be teaching anymore subjects in college... which is a blessing since i would have more time with our wedding prep then... but it would have been better if my boss would have informed me earlier than the start of classes that i actually have none.



one weekend -- Papa, Mama, Jobbie & I went up to Davao Oriental for a break at a fishing village on the other side of the Davao Gulf


7 -- Dennies and Abbi(his sister) arrived in Davao

8 -- the rest of his family arrived; dinner at Barayong

9 -- our wedding... a blessing indeed for both of us!

9-10 -- at Eden Nature Park

11 -- Off to Manila then Binan, Laguna

21 -- Post-Wedding Reception at Marikina

22-23 -- hang-out with my family at Laguna

24-26 -- at the hospital... na-dengue kuno ko. 1st time since 2 or 3 years old.


-- First Monthsary ever to celebrate for either one of us

17 -- My Father-in-law's birthday


2 -- Dennies' birthday with a wife


undas at Nueva Ecija, my farthest up north to date

9 or 10 -- a successful conception... God is gracious

30 -- 1st pregnancy test turned faintly positive...


1 -- second positive preg test... a whole lot clearer lines!

15 -- 1st ultrasound

22 -- homeward bound to Davao

23-25 -- Christmas retreat with family at Tubalan

25 -- Christmas Party at barayong

26 -- short catch up with friends before the flight back to manila

31 -- good-bye 2010... happy birthday, Mama

wedding pics

since this is easiest to do...

& then again... a picture paints a thousand words...

having a hard time uploading the pics... will try again tomorrow

to be or not to be...

this was originally written around september or october...

If you had read our love story, then you know that my husband and I started in a long distance relationship.

So that means, lesser dates and real time than other couples.

I have also heard not once but a lot of times that it’s good to spend more time with each other & to enjoy being newly-weds without an additional family member just yet.

But a lot in the family are also excited for our baby! Long before we got married.

To settle the dilemna on whether to have a pregnancy sooner or later… we turn to God in prayer.

After all, God knows the perfect timing!

Getting pregnant…

this was originally written before november 2010...

As much as we are excited to have a baby, it has been three months of trying already and I still get my period in time. I’d have wanted a missed period … but of course, that is not a positive pregnancy sign.

Anyway, somehow, Dennies & I are quite convinced that we need BABYMAKING 101.
But really… we believe that a baby/child is God’s gift… and nobody knows the perfect timing other than our Almighty Father!

Babymaking 101: 10 ways to increase your chances of conception by Alisa Ikeda
Most couples spend so many months and years trying not to get pregnant that they assume getting pregnant is what happens the moment they relax. It can be disheartening to realize there's more to babymaking than discontinuing contraception. Here are 10 simple things you can do to stack the pregnancy odds in your favor.

Most couples spend so many months and years trying not to get pregnant that they assume getting pregnant is what happens the moment they relax. It can be disheartening to realize there's more to babymaking than discontinuing contraception. Here are 10 simple things you can do to stack the pregnancy odds in your favor.

1. Eat, drink and make baby
Zinc shortages in men have been linked to lower testosterone levels and sperm counts, so men should consume foods rich in zinc, such as lean meats, eggs, seafood and whole grains. Calcium and vitamin D may improve men's fertility, so drink your milk, Men. And sip that tea, Ladies. According to a 1998 study by Bette Caan at the Kaiser Permanente Medical Care Program of Northern California, women who drank more than half a cup of tea per day were seven times as likely to conceive during the three months that the study lasted.

2. Live clean and well
Abstain from alcohol, cigarettes (even second-hand smoke) and medications (prescription, over-the-counter and herbal), and steer clear of toxic chemicals, including household cleaners. Limit your consumption of chocolate and caffeinated sodas, teas and coffees. Excessive exercise and a very low body fat percentage can lead to fertility problems in women, so stay active, but don't overdo it.

3. Stay cool and hang loose
Sperm production is inhibited by overheated testicles, so men are advised to wear breathable boxers and loose-fitting pants, avoid soaking in hot baths or hot tubs and sitting in saunas, and even cut back on bicycling and rough sports.

4. Identify your window of opportunity
You've undoubtedly heard about various remedies to enhance fertility. While it's tempting to swallow those claims, you shouldn't take anything without first consulting your healthcare provider. Frankly, nothing makes a baby more effectively than simply timing intercourse with ovulation.

According to John R Sussman, MD, an ob/gyn in New Milford, Connecticut, and co-author of
The Unofficial Guide to Having a Baby, babymaking is mainly a numbers game:

·  You ovulate about 14 days before you get your period. "If your cycle length varies from 24 days to 30 days," says Dr Sussman, "then you can count on ovulating somewhere between Day 10 and Day 16."
·  An egg only lives for 12 to 24 hours; intercourse after ovulation is usually too late.
·  Sperm can live up to 72 hours; intercourse as much as three days before ovulation could still result in pregnancy.

Dr Sussman sums it up: "Your window of opportunity opens about three days before the earliest possible ovulation and closes about a day after the latest possible ovulation."

5. Use an ovulation predictor kit
Ovulation Predictor Kits [OPKs] are a great way to maximize your chances of conception, says Dr Sussman. These will help to quickly and accurately detects the increase in luteinizing hormone in your urine (LH Surge), which normally occurs 24 to 36 hours before ovulation. You are most likely to become pregnant if you have intercourse within 36 hours after you detect your LH surge.

Charting and tracking your basal body temperature (BBT) charting is another option recommended by some doctors.

6. See your caregiver
Schedule an appointment for a preconception checkup. Your caregiver will review your family history, make sure you're in good health, and will discuss your current contraceptive method. Many fertility experts recommend that a woman stop taking the birth control pill at least three months before she tries to become pregnant. This way, your cycles can return to normal, allowing you your best chance at achieving pregnancy and helping to more precisely determine gestational age if you do conceive.

If you have not already, you should talk to your caregiver about prenatal vitamins, and if she or he recommends them for you, begin taking them even before you try to conceive.

7. Time the baby dance
Dr Sussman generally recommends intercourse every one to two days within your window of opportunity. "Some people ask whether the sperm count suffers with intercourse every day. While that may be the case for certain men, it's not for all," he says.

A man's testosterone levels and sperm count are highest in the morning, so sex may be most productive then.

8. Choreograph the dancing
Not only does it matter when you have sex; it also matters how. According to some fertility experts, the missionary position (man on top) allows for deepest penetration and can deposit the sperm closest to the cervix.

Similarly, if the woman has an orgasm, her contractions may further carry the sperm into the cervix. Avoid artificial lubricants or oils; petroleum jelly, glycerin and even saliva, which can all kill sperm.

9. Stop babymaking and start lovemaking
When you're "trying," it's easy to let the mechanics of babymaking overshadow the romance of lovemaking. Unfortunately, stress can interrupt normal ovulation cycles in women, kill your sex drive, and can even cause men's testosterone levels and sperm count to drop.

If you want your baby's conception to be a loving and unforgettable experience, be sure you relax enough to enjoy it!

10. Seek help
Though it certainly can, conception doesn't typically happen overnight. So how long should you "try" before seeking intervention?

Many experts suggest waiting about a year after first trying to conceive, depending on your history, age and temperament. Says Dr Sussman, "Couples who have not conceived after three to six months of excellent timing should be offered at least a preliminary evaluation. Then there are couples who clearly haven't mastered timing or aren't in any hurry. They can comfortably wait for a year or more."

Sometimes the mere threat of intervention is enough to make sperm meet egg.

"I knew I would get pregnant as soon as I had that reproductive endocrinologist referral in hand," recalls Kelly Moronko, mother of one with one on the way in Riverside, California. "One week before my appointment I tested positive. I'd bet money that if I check my records the referral was approved the same day I ovulated!

Praying and trying,

after months of silence

I haven't been really blogging for around half a year now…

So, I'd give a rough summary of how it has been…

& here are my articles to write:
1.      1.  Description of the wedding plan that I have in mind & how it turned out to be that 8-9-10.
2. An inclusion of the wedding photos taken would be nice too.
2.       3. Bloopers from the wedding
3.       4. The blessing that it had been
4.       5. Our sort of very short honeymoon at Eden's Nature Park in Davao.
5.       6. What we thought of our first days… weeks together.
6.       7. Ligaya home in… Binan?!?
7.       8. Our Post-Wedding Reception at Marikina
8.       9. Our first months together

& the next chapter:
1.      1.  Baby-making 101 – it is not as easy as I thought
2.      2.  What we seemed to do right that November
3.      3.  God's special Christmas gift to Dennies and Me

& side trip:
1.      1.  Our first Christmas together
2.       2. Home in Davao for Christmas!
3.       3. Reminiscing 2010
4.       4. New Year at Home
5.       5. 2011… hopes & dreams

& our pregnancy:
1.      1. Officially starting my pregnancy journal
2.      2. Surviving the crazy hormones
3.      3. My take on morning sickness
4.      4. My dearest husband
5.      5. Revising our budget

That seems to be a lot indeed! But hopefully, I could get half of them done by the end of this week. I hadn't been sleeping well lately.

I especially miss the long straight hours of sleep during my first month. 3 hours sleep was the longest straight that I've had… followed by 1-3 hours of tumbling on bed before I manage to get back to sleeping again. This actually leaves me "seasick" the morning I'm awake… coupled with my morning sickness that lasts throughout the day… equals my dearest husband needing to help me out with my household chores. 
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