Saturday, May 29, 2010

on Dennies and his family's visit

They arrived friday 6am at the Davao International Airport. As expected, I went to meet them.
His Daddy Efren and Mommy Deling were with him along with Abbi, his sister; Daddy Adring, his uncle; Ate Lis, his cousin & Daddy Adring's daughter; Ate Mitch, his coursin & Kuya MJ, her husband.

From there, we went straight ahead for breakfast then to Malagos to see the Philippine Eagle.
We had our lunch at Tabing Dagat in Sta. Cruz which is midway from Davao to Digos.
They went in to finalize their reservation at Arnaldo's Hotel and Restaurant for August where they'd be staying the night before the wedding. This is about 30 minutes ride from Lolo's place in Barayong where we'd get married.

My brother Jobbie is still in the hospital then, so Dennies and I were dropped by request at MCDC to visit. We went back to Davao with Mama for the dinner at her favorite Chinese restaurant in the city. This was the dinner with his family.

The meeting went well.

His family was kind of shocked to hear Dennies' pray for the dinner. They haven't heard him prayed out loud before. ^^<

The dinner was great.

The date is fixed after some bargaining which I won ^^<. And the time set at 8am instead of 7am.

After dinner, Papa got them to eat durian of which Dennies' is afraid of.

They did tried it but i don't think it was a hit among them. But anyway, thanks for trying.

It was a night, we dropped them off at the hotel and we all went to bed early, I guess.

Saturday, I went with his family for the zipline at EXcelerator and then to Paradise Island in Samal. I guess they liked the place since they already booked the night of our wedding day there.

Sunday, Dennies and I had our pre-nup shot.

Then, they went ahead.

& i went straight to digos for Jobbie.

hello after a few weeks of silence...

it's been a few weeks since i've blogged.

a lot had happened.

may 10 was the 1st Philippine automated elections. of which none of my major bets won their race.
also, may 10, my brother jobbie was admitted at MCDC (the hospital in Digos where my Lolo had the craniotomy last 2008).
Well, I spent my birthday, May 15, at the hospital since contrary to what we expected, Jobbie had stayed for long due to an infection.
It wasn't until last sunday that he was discharged per our request since it was over 24 hours since he had the last fever.

From May 21-23, Dennies and his family were here in Davao for the formal pamanhikan.

Anyway, this week was hectic in school with the summer class to end. I had my exam with my students this morning and afternoon... then i rushed to finishing their grades. and yes, I think I deserve a congratulation!

Well, my 1st semester contract wouldn't start until June 15, so i am on a break! yehey!

June 1-6, my brother Jobbie(who'd be on crutches still), my Mama and my Lola are going to visit Jon in Cebu. We're excited. I hope my Lola wouldn't back-out though. It would be her first plane ride.

June 7-14 would be a time to finish up as much of the wedding prep as i could.
still need to apply for our marriage license, pay the down payments, finalize wedding supplier contracts & etc.

Which reminds me, this Monday, my Mama and I are to visit the seamstress to do her dress on my wedding.
Also, I need to finish the invitations then.
I'd be posting it here soon.

Well, in all these, praying for God's help.
Please include us in your prayer. Thank you so much!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

pre-nup pics by our friend, Dot Tiu

some of the pictures taken last Sunday, May 23 by Dot Tiu.

I am especially happy on his effort and patience plus his great passion, skill and talent.
Certainly, Dennies & I are not one of the photogenic people on earth but he did make it work.

Thanks again, Dot & Joy(his gf who helped with the lighting & coaching)

Saturday, May 8, 2010

right or left?

A wedding ring or wedding band is a metal ring indicating the wearer is married. Depending on the local culture, it is worn on the base of the right or the left ring finger.

In several traditions, the best man or best woman may have the duty of keeping track of a couple's wedding rings and to produce them at the symbolic moment of the giving and receiving of the rings during the traditional marriage ceremony. In more elaborate weddings, a ring bearer (usually a young boy that is part of the family of the bride or groom) may assist in the ceremonial parading of the rings into the ceremony, often on a special cushion.
In older times, the wedding rings were not only a sign of love, but were also linked to the bestowal of 'earnest money'. According to the prayer book of Edward VI: after the words 'with this ring I thee wed' follow the words 'This gold and silver I give thee', at which point the groom was supposed to hand a leather purse filled with gold and silver coins to the bride.

Historically, the wedding ring was rather connected to the exchange of valuables at the moment of the wedding rather than a symbol of eternal love and devotion. It is a relic of the times when marriage was a contract between families, not individual lovers. Both families were then eager to ensure the economical safety of the young couple. Sometimes it went as far as being a conditional exchange as this old (and today outdated) German formula shows: 'I give you this ring as a sign of the marriage which has been promised between us, provided your father gives with you a marriage portion of 1000 Reichsthalers'.
In some European countries, the wedding ring is the same as the engagement ring and changes its status through engraving and the change of the hand on which to wear it. If the wedding ring is different from the engagement ring, the question whether or not the engagement ring should be worn during the ceremony leaves a few options. The bride may wear it on her left ring finger and have the groom put the wedding band over it. She may also wear it on her right ring finger. The bride may also continue wearing the rings on different hands after the wedding – this may prevent the engagement ring from scratching and scuffing. Another option is to have the main bridesmaid keep the ring during the ceremony – there are a variety of ways to keep it: in a pouch, on a plate, etc. After the ceremony, the ring can be placed back on either the left or the right hand. The finger is always the ring finger, but there are cultural differences whether the wedding ring is worn on the left hand or the right hand.
The right hand is the traditional hand for vows or oaths. It is raised when such an oath is given, so the wedding ring would here show the sincerety of the oath. A traditional reason to wear the wedding ring on the right hand stems from Roman custom and biblical references. The Latin word for left is "sinister", which in addition to this sense also has the same senses as the English word. The Latin word for right is "dexter", a word that evolved into "dexterity". Hence, the left hand had a negative connotation and the right a good one. For the same reason, an oath is sworn while raising the right hand.
The left hand is also used for cultures that believe in the vena amoris or "vein of love" that is believed to be found in the left ring finger.

our wedding ring...

For the wedding, i think the best run for your money is on the ring. Simply because it's there to stay.

So, I have no quams about spending a little more on our bands. However, it is still best to find that bargain price. Who wouldn't want a discount after all?

We wanted something that is not as common but not that intricate either. I fell in love with this design by Suarez Wedding Rings. They also have a good price. But going to the local jewellers would give me a much lower price.

Dennies wants to have this design as well. Along with the diamonds but I told him it would be more expensive. Not that he's not willing to give me that too.

But anyway, I did want something identical for us. So, I really want a plain one for me too. Not to mention that it is easier to clean without the stones as well. And, he could always give me the diamond/s later. *wink*

Well, there is a local goldsmith in Davao who agreed to do the pair at 15 thousand. I still think we could go less than that. So much for the treasure hunt. They all tell me that the price for gold has been high this time.

Friday, May 7, 2010

wedding song: daddy's angel

given the chance, I'd want have this dance with my Papa... but we'd get emotional, I bet.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

wedding song: sagot sa aking panalangin

this is the first Filipino song in the list.

Thanks, Pastor Cezil for sharing this song.

anywayz, are there more Filipino Christian Wedding Songs out there?
this is really nice but we're not sure if it would go well with the rest of the songs that we've chosen.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

our barrio fiesta wedding...

i know i should leave details to surprise you on my wedding... but i just want to excite you as well.
however, this may not be pushed through as planned/dreamed.
but, i'll tell it anyway...

posted last march 19, 2010 on my previous blog...

this is just a part of my daydream for now...

still to be approved by my fiance and our families...
but anyways, i love dreaming... obviously.
why the barrio fiesta? ... because it allows a bit of chaos which is inevitable with the number of guests that would be coming.

this is vera wang's aurora... far from the maria clara with panuelo that the previous article had mentioned...

but anyway, imagine this dress with a bolero with the Filipiniana sleeves (yup... those that imelda marcos had been known for) then, it would be pulled together as in the terno that this theme calls for.

The bolero can then be removed during the reception, which is like changing the whole outfit. & instead, a panyo will be placed vertically on one shoulder.
the groom ang the male entourage would wear the barong... as usual.

The food will definitely be Filipino. We're even thinking for halohalo to combat the coming noonday sun. What do you think?

In my previous post on the Filipiniana themed weddings, I posted a picture of a couple doing the 'tinikling'. If Dennies were to agree on doing that with me on our program, I'd surely go for it. The problem is, he wouldn't. But maybe I could make him do it? Should I try convincing him?

I've thought of a lot of reception games to be played with Filipino roots. I'm thinking of pokpok palayok, luksong tinik on two main wedding events... And maybe more... still thinking.

Anyway, our bridal ride will definitely be barrio-style. No money from us for the bridal car industry.

A lot of things are playing still on our minds... and we're so welcome for suggestions.
I am excited. Obvious?

tying the knot -- filipino style

Drop the words "Filipiniana-themed wedding" and instantly, images straight from the classic Noli Me Tangere come to mind. Historic churches in Intramuros, quaint banderitas and a luscious buffet spread of lechon, pansit and a colorful assortment of kakanin capture the quintessential "Pinoy" celebration.
We Filipinos, after all, are known around the world for our unique and heartwarming brand of merrymaking… which is why couples to this day, do opt to celebrate their marriage in true Filipino fashion. Whether the theme is evident in the abaca giveaways or the bamboo centerpieces, the rondalla that serenades the guests or the traditional kundimans, couples today can have an authentically Pinoy touch to their weddings in more ways than one.
The trick is to remember that while "Filipino" does include all the superficial detailing that goes into wedding planning—the gown, the souvenirs, the food—it reaches far deeper than that. A Filipino wedding… regardless of its décor or its faithfulness to the traditions of old, becomes truly Filipino when it is planned with the same fun, fervor, passion and love for family that goes into our multi-faceted culture.
Choosing Filipiniana as your wedding’s basic theme is only a starting point. Think of it as a basic, all-around theme that you’ve got to narrow down. Remember that the more specialized and specific your theme is, the more personal the feel of your wedding will be.
Period-centric. The Filipiniana look has evolved as a consequence of our country’s colorful history. A Turn of the Century wedding, for example, would have you drawing inspiration from icons from Rizal’s time—a Maria Clara inspired wedding gown patterned out of embroidered piña, capiz shell lamps in an outdoor garden reception, are just a few images based on that period. A Pinoy Pop wedding on the other hand could leave you with images of a sorbetero stand at the reception, a fun, acapella, Ryan Cayabyab-style arrangement for your songs or even kitschy candies such as Orange Sweets, Tarzan gum and Choc-nut scattered all over your guests’ tables.
Province-centric. You could opt to base your wedding on your province’s traditions. If you’re running out of unique menu ideas, think about the fare your region’s known for. Bicolanos, for example, can give away pili rolls, while Batangueños could wrap some barako beans as wedding souvenirs. Even hors d’oeuvres can be inspired by what province you come from—those from Laguna can serve kesong puti snacks.
Invitations Say It All: Invitations primarily supply your guests with the who’s what’s and where’s of your wedding. Apart from that, they clue those in attendance about what to expect on the day itself—a formal 300-guest sit-down dinner scenario, or an intimate no-holds-barred garden party? Your invites are a great way to seal the Filipiniana stamp on your wedding. They’re the perfect venue to tell everyone who’s invited that your theme is "going local!"
Handmade or recycled paper is usually associated with the Filipiniana theme. Mix these neutral, natural colors up with a bright graphic, or a splash of color to liven up the look.

Accessorize with textured materials such as weaves (banig), raffia or twine, shells, sand or even dried flowers.

Dig up your archives for old photographs of your church and turn your invitations, save-the-date cards or even thank you notes into vintage-looking postcards with the church as the background.

Personalize your invitations with the type of language you use. Deep, Balagtas-type Tagalog for true blue Manileños, or idiosyncratic Taglish for a quirky twist.

Dress the Part: The piece de resistance at any Filipiniana wedding is the execution of the bridal gown. Traditional brides can subscribe to the customary terno using jusi or pinya, while more contemporary brides can opt for sleeker, more modern cuts using materials such as abel iloco. Rifle through your grandparents’ old wedding photos for inspiration, or brave your mom’s baul for undiscovered finds, and keep in mind that thinking out of the box will usually reward you with the most individual, most personal looks.

Fuse Filipino flowers such as sampaguita into your bouquet or weave sinamay into your entourage’s floral arrangements for flowers that go well with the outfits.

Have your shoe take on a streamlined bakya form.

The Church Ceremony: Filipinos have a marked way of celebrating weddings—from the veil, cord and candle traditions to the picture taking with both sides of the family. Hearing mass in Filipino in an old, historic church, writing your vows in your dialect and even listening to Filipino-arranged songs during the ceremony make for a very "Pinoy" ambience. Decorating the church accordingly will keep your theme cohesive as well:
1. leaving abanikos in the pews for guests to fan themselves during mass

2. covering the aisle in sinamay and scattering sampaguita and ilang-ilang

3. using a traditional banig for the bride to walk on

4. raffia twine embellished with pearls for the cord

5. using a kalesa or stylized jeepney as the couple’s transportation
Filipino Fiestas

Pinoys are famous for the parties they throw, from the annual fiestas each province celebrates to the games everyone remembers from childhood, from the impressive spread of kare-kare and pansit to everyone’s favorite halo-halo and sapin-sapin. The way you carry out your Filipiniana reception depends mainly on the type of Pinoy atmosphere you want for your wedding. Traditionalists will love a Father Blanco’s Garden-type outdoor reception, while pop culturists can go crazy with ideas such as a layered puto wedding cake or a dirty ice cream vendor positioned right by the dessert. Go Barrio Fiesta with your party with clay pots as chafing dishes, centerpieces made out of fresh, local fruits in bilaos or mini bahay kubo replicas. Have your guests serenaded with your favorite harana, or remind them of summers spent in the province with banana leaf placemats or bao used as placecard holders, capiz for napkin rings or even tuba instead of wine! Even the traditional bouquet toss and garter throw can adapt to games you used to play as children—bato-bato pick, pabitin or even pukpok palayok! Wax nostalgic by leaving your guests with gifts like framed, old Peso bills, jeepney magnets, or native delicacies wrapped in pretty abaca or sinamay packages.
***Source: Manila Bulletin Online

elements of a Filipiniana wedding

For the wedding gown, wear a modernized Maria Clara complete with panuelo.
The groom, the male entourage and wedding guests should wear a barong tagalog.
The wedding invitation should be in Filipino/Tagalog.
Choose a turn-of-the-century venues for the ceremony and reception. Intramuros comes to mind.
Instead of a bridal car, hire a horse-drawn carruaje or kalesa.

Have the Nuptial Mass in Filipino. Say your vows in the vernacular.

Use Sampaguita (our National flower) and other local blooms for the bouquet, confetti and decors.

Hold an heirloom rosary with your bouquet as you march to honor your Catholic heritage.

Let the choir sing Tagalog Liturgy songs for the ceremony

and OPM lovesongs for the communion, piacture-taking and recessional.

Upon exit at the church or during Grand Entrance at the reception, have the bestman exclaim: “MABUHAY ANG BAGONG KASAL!!!“
Create a Barrio Fiesta atmosphere in the reception.
Serve an all-Filipino buffet with a lechon (roast pig) as a central part of the handaan.
For December weddings, have a puto bungbong and bibingka stall to get the guests into the Christmas mood.
Dress up the ceiling of the reception hall with banderitas instead of drapes.
Instead of flowers, use tropical fruits (mango, pineapple, rambutan, atis, etc. ) as table centerpieces.
Hire a rondalla instead of a string quartet.
Play the guitar and serenade the bride with a harana.
Do the money dance. It’s a Filipino tradition.

Never miss the details.

Have a caketopper with the groom ina traditional barong than the usual tuxedo.
Instead of champagne, propose a toast with lambanog.
Gather the single ladies and play agawang-panyo or hang several blooms on a pabitin instead of doing the traditional bouquet toss.
Gather the single men to play pukpok-palayok instead of the garter toss.
Our native delicacies and local handicrafts are perfect as wedding favors

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

about the invites...

need help...
i can't seem to decide which sketch to use... or if their any good at all...

maybe they're not really that good, else i wouldn't be asking... but anyway, here they are...

but before that... this is where i've copied the concept of the invites that i'd be making for us...

sketch 1sketch2&3sketch 4

these last two are not mine... i just found them online... but i think they are cute... & maybe i could customize it to look like us. what do you think?

thanks for the help.

Monday, May 3, 2010

about the bridal ride

For the three days that the poll on our wedding ride has been running...

it's basically between the carabao or the farm tractor.

Those are not the real ones that are present at Barayong... but those are the closest thing that I could get from Google.

Anyway, Unce Arthur and I talked about this last night.

And that one, the hand tractor is the type that's available in Barayong. If we are to have the reception at Kamonsilan, then I guess, the carabao is not an option since it's about a kilometer from church.

If we were to have it at the session hall right beside the church, then the carabao with the cart/sled would work just fine. Since it would be around 200meters around.

Uncle Arthur already hailed his white cow to do the job instead of the carabao since it was already trained to pull a cart. Plus, it would look better than a black carabao since an albino is not available around the area. (Kay naa man sa Davao si Ailyn Albino ^^< joke)

Well, I really hope that we can pull this through as planned.


the wedding dress for the first time...

Myth: Not to wear the bridal gown prior to the wedding.

This is a Filipino pamahiin that has been since memorial. By some reason, the wedding would not be pushed through they said.

I believe in God and I know that everything happens for His purpose.

I am also a fan of science and math enough to know that it doesn't have a scientific basis at all.

Unfortunately, i wouldn't be one to break this tradition.

For now, death aside, I couldn't think of anything that could stop the wedding.

If I were to have my way, I'd try on my wedding dress before this month ends. And I'd be fitting it again by july & a day prior to my wedding.

But with due respect to my mother and future mother-in-law, I wouldn't.

This is actually not easy for me to follow.

As Dennies had told me last night... Just trust God that your wedding gown would fit just right.

I should have blackmailed him that i wouldn't be walking down the aisle if the dress wouldn't fit me right.
Na hindi na talaga matutuloy ang kasal if that were the case.
But I love him and wouldn't want to add to the stress that the wedding has on us.

The thing is... I have the Filipino pamahiin and tradition to blame for the added stress on all of these.

But really... I am stressed because I've yet to accept that the wedding is not about us. The marriage is about us.
But the wedding?
No, no, no.
It's about his family, my family, the traditions, the culture, the clash.

My prayer:

Dear God,
thank you for the reminder that it is not about me... Not about us.
Not only in this wedding that we're planning but on everything about life.
Grant me humility to obey and honor our parents.
But Lord,
please help them to realize that after the wedding. It will be different.
We have a home to build apart from them. Please help us all.

our picks of wedding songs

We're still in the process of picking them.

But the list would ultimately be on whether we can find someone who would sing those songs for us. ^^,

If not, then, either we couldn't play it or we'd play it during the reception by playing it via CD or an iPOD. Or through an AVP with our pictures in the background (narcism).

But anyways, it's still a long way to go.

I want to thank everyone who have suggested songs and for those who had volunteered to sing some of them. Thank you very much for sharing your God-given talent.
You are a blessing indeed!

PS: the songs i wanted... are those songs that doesn't drag you down or make you wish that the song would end. I want a feel good song with deep meaning and with the central message that we didn't find each other by chance or serendipity... we found a way to each others hearts by God's grace.
When God writes your love story...

wedding song: this ring

i like this song as well... First time to hear it as well. I think I've become a fan of this man today.
This Ring

Words and Music: Anthony W. Carter

I've been waiting for this moment for so long
An answered prayer, I know you are the one
I give to you my heart and soul
With a love that will never grow old

In my life, I can see
That you were made for me
You'll be there to catch me if I fall
All the days, I have prayed
And the love that I have saved
With this ring, I'm giving you my all

I thank God for the gift He has given me
A love that's strong for all of eternity
I give to you all of my days
With a love for all of your ways

In my life, I can see
That you were made for me
I'll be there to catch you if you fall
All the days, I have prayed
And the love that I have saved
With this ring, I'm giving you my all

In the days that we grow old
The times may change but our love will remain
As we look back on this day now
We stood the test of time
Living the promise of our vow


In my life, I can see
That you were made for me
I'll be there to catch you if you fall
All the days, I have prayed
And the love that I have saved
With this ring, I'm giving you my all...

wedding song: here we stand

This is not a popular song. In fact, this is the first time that i have heard it.

But really, I want this song on our wedding. The lyrics are deep. It conveys the covenant in marriage. And yet, its light and doesn't drag you to want the song to end.
It doesn't invoke the deepest of emotions nor call for the tears to fall... but it states the promise and all these by God's amazing grace.

I wonder who would be singing this song on our wedding?

Here We Stand
Words and Music: Anthony W. Carter

Here we are, face to face
Brought here together
By God's amazing grace
Into your eyes, I see myself
Living a life
I've always dreamed about...

And as I stand here before you
I can't help but adore you...

Here we stand, In this moment now
I give my heart, I give my love
This is my vow
To you I swear, And I promise to
Give all I can, All I am
I give to you

Here we are, hand in hand
United as one
By the promise of our love
I open my heart, and let you in
To live there forever
As a lover and a friend

As I stand here before you
I can't help but adore you...

Here we stand, In this moment now
I give my heart, I give my love
This is my vow
To you I swear, And I promise to
Give all I can, All I am
I give to you

Here we are, face to face
Brought here together
By God's Amazing grace...

wedding song: with you by Marin Nievera

I'm not really a Martin Nievera fan... but i like this song.

wedding song: two words, i do by Lea Salonga

A friend commented that my blog had included details of our wedding but he has not seen any post on the songs.

Well, I have no song in mind but "When God Made You".

And now this.

Well, I did have a lot of American Idol (I am a fan) finale songs in mind. But I think it would be played after the ceremony when we'd have the pictures taken at church.

Anyway, back to this song. THANK YOU to the person who suggested this. I've always admired Lea Salonga for her voice quality and the clarity at which every word is sung. She really has an incredible voice that would make one want to fall in love all over again.

And thank you to the person who would be singing this, I have a Lea Salonga fan in mind with such a beautiful voice as well.

Two Words
Artist - Lea Salonga

In a while, in a word,
Every moment now returns.
For a while, seen or heard,
How each memory softly burns.
Facing you who brings me new tomorrows,
I thank God for yesterdays,
How they led me to this very hour,
How they led me to this place...

Every touch, every smile,
You have given me in care.
Keep in heart, always I'll,
Now be treasuring everywhere.
And if life should come to just one question,
Do I hold this moment true?
No trace of sadness,
Always with gladness...
'I DO...'


Now a song that speaks of now and ever,
Beckons me to someone new,
Unexpected, unexplored, unseen,
Filled with promise coming through.
In a while, in a word,
You and I forever change,
Love so clear, never blurred,
Has me feeling wondrous, strange,

And if life should come to just one question,
Do I face each moment true?
No trace of sadness, always with gladness,
'I DO...'

Never with sadness...

Always with gladness...


wedding song: when God made you

I really love this song. It makes me feel so blessed! God knows best.

Yesterday, a friend had this notion that love is temporary and hindi na nga daw sya magpapauto.
The thing is that kind of love is what worldly love is. That's not the kind of love that the Father has modeled and not the kind of love the Bible shows. Of course, we would be stupid to fall for that kind of love.
We'll just pray that we would not settle for anyone less than the man/woman that God had made for you/us.

Will there be no heartache in this kind of love?

There would still be. But that pain could only make us closer all the more to our first love who is God.

PS: Advance thanks to Ate Lalai who'd be singing this song on our wedding day.
and thanks to Leslei... I first heard this song when you shared it sa facebook.

 When God Made You lyrics

Artist - Natalie Grant

It's always been a mystery to me
How two hearts can come together
And love can last forever
But now that I have found you, I believe
That a miracle has come
When God sends the perfect one

Now gone are all my questions about why
And I've never been so sure of anything in my life

I wonder what God was thinking
When He created you
I wonder if He knew everything I would need
Because He made all my dreams come true
When God made you
He must have been thinking about me

I promise that wherever you may go
Wherever life may lead you
With all my heart I'll be there too
From this moment on I want you to know
I'll let nothing come between us
I'll love what ever you love

He made the sun He made the moon
to harmonise in perfect tune
One can't move without the other
They just have to be together
And that is why I know it's true
You're for me and I'm for you
Cause my world just can't be right
Without you in my life

I wonder what God was thinking
When He created you
I wonder if He knew everything I would need
Because He made all my dreams come true
He must have heard every prayer I've been praying
Yes, He knew everything I would need
When God made you
When dreams come true
When God made you
He must have been thinking about me

carry me

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married, I hope you will be touched with this story... MARRIAGE When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce.. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

By: Joey Gabinete Acebron

Sunday, May 2, 2010

battling rosacea for a flush-free wedding

i have been diagnosed with rosacea over 5 years ago.

Rosacea (pronounced roh-ZAY-sha) is a common but poorly understood disorder of the facial skin that is estimated to affect well over 16 million Americans -- and most of them don't know it. In fact, while rosacea is becoming increasingly widespread as the populous baby boom generation enters the most susceptible ages, a Gallup survey found that 78 percent of Americans have no knowledge of this condition, including how to recognize it and what to do about it.

Because of its red-faced, acne-like effects on personal appearance, however, it can cause significant psychological, social and occupational problems if left untreated.

While the cause of rosacea is unknown and there is no cure, today medical help is available that can control the signs and symptoms of this potentially life-disruptive disorder. Any one of the following warning signs is a signal to see a dermatologist or other knowledgeable physician for diagnosis and appropriate treatment before the signs and symptoms become increasingly severe:
•Redness on the cheeks, nose, chin or forehead.
•Small visible blood vessels on the face.
•Bumps or pimples on the face.
•Watery or irritated eyes
i just have to prevent any flare-up or flushing. which means that i have to stick to a hypoallergenic diet and minimize junkfoods, minimize sun exposure and always wear my sunblock, have 8 hours of sleep, and to strictly do my daily facial rituals.
Hopefully, I wouldn't have any of those flushes anywhere near my wedding date.

dilemna: on being especially beautiful

myth: The bride has to be the most beautiful woman in her wedding.

This is of course possible if :

  1. She would surround herself with freaks as in the other queen in the Alice in the Wonderland.
  2. She wouldn't invite any more beautiful friend or family.
  3. She will go for a very private wedding.
I'm sure you get the picture. The thing is, there are other women who could be prettier than the bride is on that day.

Oh... may I add... 4. choose a very ugly motiff or theme. For example, have them all wearing masks/costumes so you'd end up to be the only belle of the ball.

But still, even with a concealed face, others have this aura that someone could not bear but give a second look... or a long second look.

Anyway, the thing for me is just to drop all of that because that is not an option for me.
I have a beautiful family... lots of prettier faces than my own. I often say that i am the ugly duckling in comparison. Also, I have a lot of pretty friends. If you're one of them, I'm sure you'd agree.

But the thing is, the bride is not to be pressured by others and definitely not by herself to look the best. She has to look her best... which is an entirely different story.

anyway, it has been said that brides should not look at a lot of fashion or beauty mags so as not to feel insecure about how she looks.

before: i thought this was a good idea. In fact, i've shared this to more than a couple od bride-to-be before.
now: when you've grown to accept yourself, you'll have that sense of security about yourself... your looks included.

This means that she has to feel beautiful not because she thinks that someone is ugly or that she is as pretty as that girl in the magazine. She just have to be her best. period. with no comparison to so and so.
So, am i saying that she's not to shine?
well, no. All I am saying is that this is but an extra dilemna or stress that a bride should flush down the toilet. She would shine. No pressure.

marriage vs. weddings

I came across this story in Meg's A PRACTICAL WEDDING.
No, I don't know her... FC lang...

This from via the ever-smart Lauren, from the book Altared. Seriously. Read it all:

Weddings are not marriages, and I wish they were. Weddings are to marriage as a single bamboo shoot is to a jungle, as a seashell is to the ocean floor: nice enough, not unrepresentative, and almost totally irrelevant. Marriage is all about the long road, about terror and disappointment, about recovery and contentment, about passions of all kinds. Weddings are about a party– which is why I think marriage should be approached with blinking yellow lights, orange safety cones, and all other signs of great caution, and weddings should be encouraged as things apart. Why should we expect that looking pretty in white (or the flattering color of your choice) and doing a credible fox-trot has anything to do with staying calm in the face of resentful indifference, selective deafness, Oedipal disorders, or horrible stepchildren? It should be enough, it seems to me, to look as good as one can and enjoy the party. Brides who cannot enjoy their own weddings are either possessed of too much knowledge (this marriage is a mistake) or too much something else (like women who scream when the bouquet has one too many sprigs of baby’s breath). I wish that crazy, over-the-top weddings (doves dyed pink, twin elephants, wedding favors from Gucci, and Handel’s “Water Music” played by Yo-Yo Ma) led to marriages that were extravagant celebrations of love, that the excess foretold a lifetime of generosity, sensuality, and matching elephants of kindness and loyalty. I wish that simple little weddings, barefoot in a cranberry bog, with ten friends as witnesses, would lead to a life in which less is really more and stays that way. Marriage requires common sense, self-awareness, compatible senses of humor (Jackie Mason will not be happy with Oscar Wilde, although Bernie Mac might be), compatible sex drives, and enough, but not too much, perseverance. Weddings, on the other hand, offer just a day’s happiness, and require only a willingness to dance– even badly– and embrace the world and big love for a short time.

We have been reminded of this fact by a lot of our friends and family. The wedding is but a day and marriage is a lifetime. Many times indeed a lot of efforts are placed into having the perfect wedding. A bulk of money is spent with others even getting loans for it. If only that much effort have been made in the preparation for the marriage, then a lot of couples my have been saved of some tears and heartaches.
No, I am not speaking out of experience since I am not there yet. I just try to remember what has been said to us.

To add... marriage is more than compatibility. It is more than a contract. It is a covenant where God is our witness.
Our feeling of love, excitement or want for a family of our own nor a child is never enough to keep it together. A foundation on our Lord, Jesus Christ... where both the husband and wife humbly ask for help in moving closer to God and as a result have moved closer still to each other as well.

Top Picks ü

Why were they chosen?

Theme: barrio fiesta
First, it would tie up with the venue since we're having it at my lolo's which is 80min southwest of Davao City.
And also, it would allow some room for chaos.

Motiff: teal
I had wanted a darker color/shade. But since our wedding is at daytime, we picked a lighter shade instead.

The Date
Well, i had wanted that date for over 3years already.
Its basically chosen because it is easy to remember.

The Venue
Since i've basically grown up in that church. It had been where my lola & i had worked on weddings before.
As for the reception venue, it's proximity to the church is what made us pick it.

The Best Man
Kem, his nephew, is one of the reason why we met. He was Dennies' online game playmate. And the one who budged him into trying Gunbound where we met.

The Maid-of-Honor
Jade has been my close friend since high school. She was the 1st one who met Dennies among my circle... the 1st who had heard our story... & my longest prayer partner where Dennies is concerned.

The perfect one...

No... I am not talking about Dennies. He's not perfect. No one is.

I mean the wedding gown or dress or whatever you want to call it.

As every bride know, a wedding gown is so much more than a fluffy white dress.

Rajo Laurel says, '' One of the first things to consider is appropriateness. Have checklist of things that you want to do for your wedding - like dance the tango or swing - and also think of how the gown will work for the time of the day and the venue. Will it be at the beach or the city? All these things come into play. Second, when choosing a gown, be true to your personality. And third, really be truthful to your body. There's a limit to the things you can do without surgery! Sometimes a bride is all about fantasy, but in the end you have to temper that to reality.''

''Most Filipinas are short, petite, and not well endowed with curves. So, a dress cut on the empire (above the waist) gives the illusion of longer legs especially if it's floor length'', responds Jojie Lloren, Project Runway Philippines, to a wedding magazine interview. '' For a bigger body, i put the embelishments near the top of the dress to draw the attention to the face. Also, consider the time of the day. A heavily beaded bodice is too much for a daytime wedding. Don't go overboard. The bride has to be seen in the dress and not the other way around; so, it's not just the dress alone that matters.''

His top tip : There are a lot of misconceptioms when it comes to choosing a gown for your body type. The rule of thumb is to hide your flaws and flaunt your assets.

Twenty-two, Sassa Jimenez warns brides on a real issue, ''Don't rely too much on the sketch, or get too attached to it. Realize that everything changes once you start to work with the fabric.''

Indeed, a lot of thought comes when choosing a dress on that special day. It would be a blessing indeed to know what you want and how you want it. Or if you don't have that in mind just yet, then start with what you don't want... That would surely ease out your already loaded brochure of choices.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

the well spent wedding

1. Rank your priorities. -- this will allow you to identify which part are you going to splurge on and which one to be stingy about.

2. Determine your budget. -- always plan and work around your budget. It is good to be realistic.

3. Recruit friends and relatives. -- yes, everyone with talent and heart is welcome. This would allow you to save. For example, my singers are friends from church. I'd invite my cousin Chevy to play the violin for my march. And a lot more in my list.

4. Be ruthless with the head count. -- Unfortunately, since we are in the Philippines wherein the wedding is not just between the couple but the whole families, this can be tough. This has been my first dilemna since i wanted an intimate wedding of the least guest as possible but my mother's family has a big bunch of invites in mind.

5. Book before the 'ber' months. -- the "ber" months are part of the "peak" season. So, the rates are much higher during this time.

6. Seek free fonts. -- this is regarding the invites and other prints. Other fonts don't come free. So, make sure to ask your caligrapher or stationer if there is any extra charge on the font you picked. Or to save some more, why not make your invites yourself. I would be doing our wedding invites. My bestfriend, Macel, and I spent about a couple of hours with photoshop to get that image of the invitation that i want. Then, after having it checked by his Mom, we'd have it printed.

7. Think monochromatic.

8. Have a weekday wedding. -- Skip the regular Saturday wedding. Most venues are cheaper on the weekday... or at least, you'll have a lower guest count on a weekday ^^< With this in mind, ours is on a Monday!

9. No decor needed. -- If you'd pick a venue that' already charming as it is. For example is that resto with the decor & interior design that you've always liked.

10. Think out-of-the-banquet-hall. -- the sky is always a pretty backdrop!

11. Hire an expert. -- this seems ironic. But wedding planners already have a string of suppliers where they can have a lot of discounts and freebies.

12. Take up hunting. -- there's always a bargain out there waiting to be found.

13. Pick the right kicks. --

14. Say YES to all-inclusive. -- Most inclusives in the package deals are paid for irregardless on whether you'd take it or not. So, why not just take it. Or you may try asking if you canget another service instead if ever.

15. Bridal fair-bound. -- get into a bridal fair to get a buzz at the supplier's price range & not to mention the freebies and discounts.

16. Create your own dot-com. -- there's real money in the internet. Or so they say.

17. Initial it. -- To make it look like it's worth more.
18. Stick them up. -- use stickers instead of paying for a caligrapher.

19. Hold a DIY day. -- Have your friends help you with DIY souvenirs and give-aways.

20. Buy in season. -- Be it flowers or fruits, the ones in season are definitely cheaper!
21. Supersize your flowers. -- big blooms allow ou to use less.

22. Bouton-ette your bridesmaids. -- they cost less than having bouquets made.

23. Easy on the entourage. -- the lesser people on your wedding party, the lesser on the other entourage-related expenses as well.

25. Work your blooms. -- buy flowers and arrange them yourselves!

26. Skip the make-up trials. -- some artist actually charge the make-up trials even when they say that it is free with the package. Find a make-up artist that you are know or particularly like. Don't go for a lot of trials. It will cost more & it will just lead to more confusion on who to choose.

27. The more the merrier.

28. No need for retouch. -- a quick powder and lipgloss is all it takes. Anyone in your party can do that without the extra charge.

29. Borrow something. -- If you can borrow it, then why buy it?

30. Buy your own booze.

31. Give a newbie a break. -- try a good photographer. His prices are cheaper for sure and he has the extra motivation to have a break for o your wedding.

32. Eat family style. -- this will skip the need for any centerpiece.

33. Think like a talent scout. -- be on the look-out for new suppliers and talents.

34. Drink to that. -- the rest of your guests need not be included in your champagne toast.

35. Cut the cake. -- instead of going for the 20 thousand something layered cake, why not layer the special bakeshop cakes? They actually taste a whole lot better!

36. Give something homemade.

37. Pool the presents.

38. Show off -- a little. -- splurge on something that would be worth it.

39. Throw a tea party. -- who says it has to be a dinner?

40. Hook up your iPod. -- good free music!

our love story

How should i share it? Like the ABC? Or a summary? O isang nobela?
Well, this is an anything goes tale...
We met at an online game, Gunbound.
I got into it because my then bf was in Cebu for half a year & we never were in a long distance relationship & neither are we into chatting.
He got into it because he's into online gaming. & his nephew, kem, budged him to try gunbound as well.
Well, we met there, Aug 2005. He thought I was gay. He called me & found out I am a female.We were friends.We texted. We called. No, it wasn't daily... neither weekly.It wasn't regular but it seems that when I needed help, he was available to listen.The friendship was a comfort. No need to please the other. No need to keep a secret because we had no common friends & maybe because we don't care about the other's impression. No pressure of meeting anytime soon.Yes, it was just going with the wind.
There was even a time when we go three months without news from each other & yet, when we get to talk again... Yes, like long lost friends.
Anyway, long story short... 2006, my then bf and I broke up. December 2007, Dennies and his then gf broke up.

We met for real, June 2008.
I was prepared to meet an ogre that Saturday... Because he told me he was hideous.
But I was sure glad that he wasn't.
There were no fireworks then... No butterflies... But there was the sense of security from a ''stranger''.

That night, there were fireworks... Literally.
Sunday, we went to church with jade (my maid-of-honor) whom he met Saturday as well (after I found out that he was not an ogre after all).
Ptr. Peter said that we say 'you are made for joy' to the person to your right. He was at my right.
Yeah, I knew he was made for joy (that joy found in Jesus as the Philippians knew.) But that day, I kind of believed that he was made for Joy (& I mean ME).

[Dennies' story – in the making]

He finally got to decide again that he would come to Davao.

After more than a month of prayer along with the wait of an airline promo, I booked him without a return ticket.
I frequently asked him if he changed his mind.
Prayed earnestly to God to make him change his mind if he weren't the one.
(Really... If God was human, He'd be confused over my prayer. For over a year of praying for him to be the one & now praying for him to just back out if ever.)
I even asked prayer partners to pray with me as well.

When January came, & his coming over was obvious, we prayed for everything to go rough with my parents if he weren't the one. It went smoothly.

On our first Sunday at Davao, Pastor Arnel again mentioned what ladies ought to say when their suitors say ''I love you.''
Response = ‘‘Will you marry me?''. And the guy would be silent.

''I love you'', he said about half an hour after church ended. I wanted to try what Ptr. Tan said but I couldn't quite bring myself to say it.
''Wag mo na ngang isipin yun.'' He said knowing what I was thinking. And I knew his reply to the unsaid question. And I was silent.

February, I went to meet his family. They were so warm. And so excited over ''our coming wedding''.

We were cornered.

Yes, we'd get married.

And now, with the blessing of our parents, we're here.

my first post...

My main blog right now is at
I am trying out blogspot again just to see if this blog is easier as what my friend had claimed.
I haven’t been blogging for a long time until about a month ago.

Now, I’m back to it because I need an avenue to distress and pour myself out as what they say.

I would be a bride in about 100 days time.
As for now, I’d be repeating the posts that I’ve already made at my previous site.
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